Morals Modernized
by The Cosmic Penguin
Summary: Here at the Mario fanfiction archive, we don't mention a lot about Nintendo's morals and logic, but they're important nonetheless, right? So here is a story that attempts to 'Nintendize' some of the minor ones that Nintedo created but didn't make blindingly obvious. C20: The Koopas and the Yoshis.
1. The Human in the Bowser Suit

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: This was written because I decided that 'The Toad Who Cried WARIO!' had been pretty popular, so I decided to continue with more stories! After all, I have about 200 of them in the book of Aesop's Fables I have.

These shall be worked on pretty quickly due to simple shortness; this shortness is maintained to keep the balance with the original fables. The stories should average around 250-400 words apiece, give or take.

_Warning_: Parody and character bashing ahead throughout the chapters. Mainly Wario. I also threw in a little parody about ordering things off the internet for kicks. :D *shot*

**Disclaimer**: WOW! You think that I actually own characters?! SERIOUSLY?! WOW! I'm so honored! But seriously, you should know that Nintendo owns this stuff. I don't own anything except the ideas…And now that I think about this, the only reason I have to put this disclaimer up is so that I don't get sued by Nintendo, who knows that they own the characters, but somehow forget whenever they go on the internet…what the heck?

Original Fable: The Ass In the Lion's Skin

* * *

Once upon a time (had to start with the same words!), Wario was surfing the internet catalogs searching for prank options. Suddenly, he saw a costume of Bowser. He ordered it in size extra large and typed in his Paypal account.

Then, he waited.

Eight days later (the post office got the weekend and Tuesday off), Wario walked out his door-

...just as a Paratroopa dropped a package on top of his head.

"Whaaaaaah..."

Wario groaned and started to walk back inside with the package, only to be stopped by the Paratroopa, who wanted fifteen coins to pay for the special delivery fee.

Wario spent fifteen minutes searching for some coins, found them, didn't bother counting them, and threw them out the window to the Paratroopa, who was happy to get a nice, twenty-coin bonus.

Back in his house, Wario unwrapped the package and tried to put it on. He ordered it a little too big, so he stuffed it with pillows and garlic.

"*sniff*Weh...Wonderful..."

Then, he set off to Toad Town to frighten the citizens. Most of them ran in terror off to the castle. Some of the citizens didn't notice him. A few of the toads had vision problems, and walked up to shake his hand. Wario pushed those ones aside with a growl.

Eventually, he ran into Princess Peach. Excited to try and scare her, he jumped and tried to roar. To his surprise and disappointment, she was not scared, and instead flicked her umbrella open and hit him…in a very _unpleasant_ spot. The umbrella also tore a hole in his costume, letting the pillows and garlic roll all over the road. Peach simply walked away, calling over her shoulder: "If you really wanted to frighten me, keep your mouth closed and find a better costume."

Wario just growled at her as he chased a garlic clove down the road.

* * *

_Original Application: Clothes may disguise a fool, but his words will give him away._

_Nintendo Application: Support your local business._

_OR…_

_Wario's Application: If at first you don't succeed, try and fail again._

* * *

Ending Notes: The next A/N won't be as long. And remember-before you review-that this is a parody, and it's supposed to be leaking with sarcasm and bad writing like almost every parody ever created has.

I also will take requests for fables through reviews. Who knows, I might even have your fable planned! But if you wanted to see something parodized; you'd better review, because this is only going to contain 50 chapters-50 chapters ONLY. No more, no less.

Chow!


	2. The Queen and the Counsel

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: I don't see how this counted as being K+ rated, but it was in the book, so it looks like I'm gonna have to say that I warned you but that it was in the book! And here's the list for the fables…

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics_ are fables requested:

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Laborer and the Snake_

The Angler and the Little Fish

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

The Fox and the Grapes (ugh; how did these two get in order?)

The Belly and the Other Members

The Hares and the Frogs

I have more, but I wanted to leave room for other peoples' requests.

* * *

And now for today's fable!

**Disclaimer**: Didn't you read the first disclaimer? I don't own anything!

Original Fable: The Lioness

* * *

Once a great rivalry existed among the countless species of the Mushroom Kingdom over which species could produce the most children in a litter (do you have a better word?!). In order to settle the dispute, a counsel formed and interviewed each family. Some mothers, like the goombas, boasted having twelve, while others, like the koopas and toads, shamefacedly admitted that they only had two.

Of course, not everything went right…

For starters, consider the cowardly nature of the toads, the majority of the interviewing party.

Then consider the Boos, who scared the interviewers off, saying that they had no business asking about their familial life. This caused the counsel to write down that the Boos apparently had no babies...as they fled from the angry parents, whose children were in hiding in the nursery drawers.

And the foolish decision of discounting the yoshis because they could lay eggs. The counsel quickly withdrew their decision after the tribes protested, offended by the 'views on the Yoshi morals'.

And then there were some species, like the Duplighosts, that the counsel simply could not find. Or else they were magical, one-of-a-kind creatures created solely for originality in plot devices.

Finally, after many weeks and trials, the counsel came to the castle, the place where their human rulers resigned. They asked the proud queen the number of children that she had. She turned to them and sternly gave them her answer.

"One."

Before the slightly shocked counsel could reply, she added more.

"But that one is a human."

Needless to say, the counsel added no more.

The results of the contest were unpublished, but it was secretly rumored that the Boos had won the contest. Peace was restored to the Mushroom Kingdom…but the Yoshis were still quite irritated about the whole deal…

* * *

_Original Application: Quality is more important than quantity._

_Nintendo's Application: Loose ends are both good and bad._

Ending Notes: I wanted to make it funnier, but I didn't want to overkill. Check later today for more; I might write another one in case I don't write one tomorrow.

Review please; chow! Don't be afraid to ask for requests!


	3. The Toads and the Goombas

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: I'm going to create something better out of this terrible chapter. Hint: It has to do with a singing contest.

**Disclaimer**: I really need to think of a plan to convince Nintendo to give me character rights…

Original Application: There is always someone worse off than yourself.


	4. Wario and the Garlic

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Sorry for the two-day-lateness; I wanted to finish my two other stories. I do admit, however, that this wouldn't have taken long, so I won't let the updates get behind. Here we go!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters or the toad's garden. I do own the ideas, however.

**Fables Pending**:

_Italics_ are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Laborer and the Snake_

_The Tortise and the Hare_

The Angler and the Little Fish

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

The Belly and the Other Members

I probably won't do these in order or currently; I'll do them once I have ideas for them. Like this one.

Original Fable: The Fox and the Grapes

Enjoy!

* * *

Once, Wario happened to wander through a mountain toad's garden. There was various food, but it was all on cliffs and ledges that seemed impossible to climb. Wario was about to move on, but something caught his attention.

Big, fresh, juicy cloves of garlic hanging just above the edge of the highest cliff.

Wario licked his lips. If he could get up there, he could finish the garlic AND get the rest of the vegetables, too.

First he tried jumping.

"BOWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

This didn't work because he hit his head on a rocky outcrop.

Second, he tried double jumping.

"WHOOOA!"

This didn't work either because he hit his head on the same rock.

Third, he tried triple jumping. This didn't work because he landed bottom down on-guess what-the same rocky outcrop!

BAM!

The overly-mentioned rocky outcrop promptly collapsed underneath Wario.

"Waaaaaar..."

But the fat yellow man would not give up. He tried vaulting poles, ropes, bulldozers, his fists, mountain climbing gear, and various other things.

"WAAAAAR..."

"WHOA!"

"BOWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"WAAAAAAAH!"

"OWAAAAAAAAHH!"

"WHOA!"

Unfortunately, all this noise (and screaming) attracted the attention of the farmer, who promptly proceeded to chase him out of the garden.

Wario tripped him and fell down the mountain, grumbling all the way.

"Ow-It's-ow-probably-owow-nothing-owww-any-ow-way- ow-they probably-owowow-tasted terrible anywayyyyyyyyyy!"

Wario went soaring off a cliff and landed in a pond, where the local fish proceeded to eat his shoes.

Wario just groaned.

* * *

_Original Application: Any fool can despise what he cannot get._

_Nintendo's Application: If you have muscles, you can't jump as high as those who have muscles smaller than yours._

_Wario's application: Toads need to share more._

End Notes: Good things (like the next chapter) will come to those who wait. Oh, and how did you like the choice of fable? I'm gonna try to choose the ones that are funniest, so you might not see all of them. The requested fables will be done as soon as I can think of something funny to add to them.

Review please, chow!


	5. The Black Bob-ombs and the Red Bob-ombs

Chapter Pad

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: SM64 references! Although I do love the Red Bob-ombs…

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything except the ideas and the laptop.

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics _are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Tortoise and the Hare_

The Angler and the Little Fish

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

The Belly and the Other Members

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Laborer and the Snake

* * *

In the old days of the Painting Kingdoms, the Red Bob-ombs and the Black Bob-ombs existed in peace and harmony. But one day, a Black Bob-omb found something veryyyyyyy interesting…

A match.

Of course, he had no idea what he was going to do with it, so he called a meeting to try to figure out what it was. For a long time, the Bob-ombs sat around and tried to figure out what it was.

"Maybe it's candy."

"Maybe it's just a stick."

"Maybe it's…a BOMB! OH NO!"

"We are bombs, Bob."

"Oh. Sorry Larry."

"Maybe it's a new kind of grass."

"Maybe it's an animal."

"Maybe it's a seed."

"Maybe it's-"

Suddenly, one of the black Bob-ombs accidentally rubbed the match up against one of the red Bob-ombs, resulting in a massive explosion of UBER-AWESOMENESS!

Of course, all the other Bob-ombs around them exploded too.

Which meant that all the other Bob-ombs around them exploded, too.

Which meant that all the other Bob-ombs around the other Bob-ombs around them exploded, too.

Which meant that-er, I mean, and so on, and so on, and so on.

The Black Bob-ombs enjoyed the explosions, and sent off some of their own to find more matches.

However, the Red Bob-ombs hated the explosions, and swore they would never explode again. One of the Red Bob-ombs even went as far to say that the Black Bob-ombs had purposely lit the match.

So the colored bombs split into two groups: Red and Black.

The Red Bob-ombs launched water bombs to try and put out the Black Bob-ombs fuses.

The Black Bob-ombs launched fire bombs to try and light the Red Bob-ombs on fire.

Though a few more counsels had been held, all of them ended in disaster. Neither of the sides could forgive each other.

Well, they could, but not without ruining their reputations, which were apparently more important.

So since then, the different colored Bob-ombs had been separated from each other. The end.

* * *

_Original Application: It is hard to forget injuries in the presence of him who caused them._

_Nintendo's Application: It's NEVER the protagonist's fault._

End Notes: Not as funny or relevant as I wanted, but hey, I tried! One request down, three to go…later.

Review please; chow!


	6. The End of the World

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Since the world didn't end today on 12/21/2012, I decided to write out a little bonus for you guys. I thought it up yesterday, but I didn't want to write it until after midnight because I was taking a shower-er, I mean, because I wanted to be sure that the world really didn't end! I wasn't taking a shower at all! (whew, that was a close one.) So without further ado, enjoy this special might-have-been-a-fable edition of Fables Nintendo Style!

**Disclaimer: The day that I own any franchises of Nintendo's is the day that Jordan Taylor dates me…WAAAAAAAHHHH WHY CAN'T I DO EITHER OF THOSE?! **

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics _are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Tortoise and the Hare_

The Angler and the Little Fish

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

The Belly and the Other Members

* * *

Once upon a time, Bowser got tired of trying to get past all the roadblocks in his quest to conquer the world and kidnap the princess. So he tried a different approach.

He just spread a rumor that the world would end because of the calendar of the ancient Koopa clan on the Gritzy Desert.

"This plan is incredibly dumb, Kamek. It'll never work."

"Just watch."

Of course, the gullible toads bought it.

Expeditions went out.

Fortresses were built.

Money was spent.

People screamed. Loudly.

A toad in a corner was sobbed about how she would never get to date some youtuber by the name of Jordan Taylor who was apparently as hot Adam Young.

And so on, and so on, and so on.

The day that the calendar ended was finally upon the kingdom. Families huddled in their houses. Rich people hid in their fortresses. The Koopas hid in their fortress just in case their rumors were actually true.

The clock struck midnight.

And the world didn't end.

So everyone wasted all their time worrying and all their money worrying and all the crackers that they bought would have to be eaten before they went stale.

And the world didn't end!

The happy ending.

Oh, and Bowser got to kidnap the princess while everyone was distracted.

"I told you it'd work..."

"Shut up, Kamek."

The actual end!

* * *

_Original and Nintendo's Application: Don't believe everything you hear. You'll wind up looking like a fool._

End Notes: Sadly for the toad (and me), I think that Jordan already has a girlfriend …Okay, I might as well inform you that I am going to update this once every two days. (Edit: YEAH RIGHT.) Thanks for reviewing; you guys are AWESOME! But anyway…

Review, and chow!


	7. The Toad and the Cheep Cheep

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: That other chapter was supposed to be published yesterday, but I was taking a shower again-er, I mean, I had to wait until 12/21/2012 was fully over just to make sure that it really didn't end. So read this to make up for the lateness.

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own anything. And the ideas are still mine. And Jordan Taylor is still awesome. And so is Adam Young.

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics _are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Tortoise and the Hare_

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

The Belly and the Other Members

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Angler and the Little Fish

* * *

Once a fisher toad went fishing at Cheep Cheep Beach. Since he spent most of his time sleeping, he didn't have a very good catch. Just as he was about to head home empty handed, he pulled up a Cheep Cheep. Sadly, it was only as big as him. The terrified Cheep Cheep took advantage of this.

"Please, sir, throw me back so I can get bigger. Then you can come back and catch me."

The Cheep Cheep tried to do an impression of an adorable puppy, which actually turned out to be quite creepy. Much to its dismay, the fisher toad refused its offer.

"Once I throw you back, I won't get you again. You'll be busy singing 'Catch Me If You Can'. Not to mention that I haven't caught anything else." As the fish opened its mouth to protest, the toad added one last comment. "And besides, I know that this is just before your annual swim up North."

Desperate, the Cheep Cheep tried to eat the toad, but instead jumped right into his fish cooler, which was two times bigger than he was. The toad closed the lid, loaded it on a wagon, and walked home so he could cook his dinner.

Toad 1, Cheep Cheep 0.

* * *

_Original Application: Beware of the Promises of a desperate man!_

_Nintendo's Application: Talk only when you're about to die. As a matter of fact, some species might not be able to choose when to talk._

End Notes: I was thinking of sticking Wario in here, but I didn't want to kill his presence early on in the fables. The next update will probably be on Christmas Eve since I might not be present for typing tomorrow and I'm spending Christmas working on some other stories.

Review please, chow!


	8. Chauncey and the Other Ghosts

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Apologies for the late upload; anyone reading this at the actual update rate will know that this was updated after the new year instead of on Christmas/Christmas Eve. You see, a caught a virus and became completely useless for a few days. Even after the worst, I couldn't really produce any good stories. You'll probably see this from this story, but I think I pulled it off pretty well with the boundaries. I really didn't want to mix in specific series in this…series…but I decided that since I was getting off sick leave I could take liberties. So this will involve Luigi's Mansion ghosts. Be warned that the moral might not be clear until the end…or it might be clear in the middle. Whatever; this is the end of the long A/N.

**Disclaimer**: There are tons more people more worthy of Nintendo rights than me. So much for my dreams of owning Luigi. Or Moe. Or Palkia. *imaginarily hugs imaginary plushies of aforementioned characters* But I can dream…

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics _are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Tortoise and the Hare_

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Belly and the Other Members

* * *

The King of all Boos was floating down in his Secret Altar Room, taking count of the remaining ghosts in his army and dividing them into useful and not as useful. When King Boo released the portrait ghosts from the gallery, he had every intention of making himself stronger. Not weaker in any means. No way, no how.

Sadly for him, things didn't go that way.

A large portion of the ghosts he released just sat around and did nothing to help in the fight against the Mario brothers. No wait-make that almost ALL of them.

Here's a narration of King Boo's sheet, turned into one-sentence translations of his thoughts.

_Slim Bankshot spent all his time playing games of pool-against himself._

_Nana spent her time either knitting or pranking Ms. Petunia, a ghost who did nothing but take hot baths._

_Mr. Luggs just ate. And ate. AND ATE. And…you get the point._

_Some Eskimo-guy in the basement was always stuck in some iceblock-right in front of a pile of firewood._

_Biff Atlas spent all his time lifting the same barbell in the same spot at the same time._

_Madame Clairvoya actually enjoyed being stuck in a painting, which meant she was of no actual use._

_Melody just hung around playing some ancient pieces of music that probably hadn't been played for what, five hundred years and counting?_

_Jarvis didn't really do anything except hide in his jars and wish for awesome powers._

_Shivers did nothing except creep some of the other ghosts out. He spent all his time searching for some will that, if you think about it, probably wasn't in a few-day-old mansion._

_The dancing couples-well, they're obvious._

_The dog...wait, why did he release the dog again? He HATED the thing. Too bad E. Gadd hadn't captured the owner._

That's not even counting the family-which, in King Boo's opinion, contained the most useless ghosts yet.

_Neville spent all his time reading in the-HIS-library._

_Lydia spent all her time in front of the mirror._

_Sue Pea spent all her time sleeping._

_The twins spent all their time playing games of hide and seek-no, games of hide._

_Uncle Grimsley spent all his time…doing…something._

That just left the Clockwork soldiers (who typically weren't even alive), Bogmire, Boolossus, Vincent van Gore, and Chauncey.

Wait, Chauncey?

King Boo paused.

Chauncey had been a divided topic. He was a boss ghost and he held a key, but other than that, his usefulness was negative 300. He woke everyone up at night, constantly needed attention, threw frequent tantrums, tortured the minions he sent to check on him, and generally made everyone's life miserable.

So was he powerful or not?

The discolored Boo floated there for a few seconds. Then a few minutes. Then a few hours.

Finally, he decided to throw him in the weak category. Who cared if he was a boss? Luigi couldn't get far into the mansion, anyway.

Suddenly, one of his boo minions appeared in front of him. Or at least, King Boo thought it was one of his minions. It looked more like a white blur that kept slamming into walls on some mad crazy race.

After approximately FOREVER (it was actually about ten minutes), King Boo managed to calm the insane blur-er, boo-down.

"What. Is. It."

The boo's eyes' watered, and King Boo managed to get a grip on his anger before it threw another fit.

"You can tell me. I won't get angry. Or at least, I'll try not to."

The small boo shivered. Then, it finally started talking so quickly that King Boo could barely understand it.

"Wellyouseethefirstportraitghostshavebeenrecapture dandLuigihasthePoltergustandhegotsomemoreoftheghos tsandWE'REALLGONNADIEEEEEEEEE-"

King Boo smacked him over the head.

"Calm down! I can barely understand you!"

"But I can't CALM down! We're ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE-"

King Boo brushed him aside.

"No we aren't! After all, Crybaby Chauncey still has the key!"

The boo stared up at him.

"No he doesn't. Luigi already got him."

King Boo felt like he had been slapped in the face. Then he slammed one of his…fists into the floor. The smaller boo fled in terror.

After a fifteen minute tantrum, King Boo managed to get a grip on his anger. He turned around to face Mario.

"Chauncey's gone…I don't know if it's good or bad…but I'll take care of Luigi! Just you wait, Mario!"

With that, he turned and stormed out of the room to join the other Boos-but not before running into the barrier, uttering some angry expletives, and remembering to unlock the barrier.

* * *

End Notes: The morals will be up later. And I really don't feel like this was that funny, one of the reasons I listed the portrait ghosts. Ah well, I'll have to work on finding some funnier ones to work on!

Review please; chow!

King Boo: ...You suck for making me suck!


	9. Big Boo and the 'Bowser'

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Whoa! What's this? An actually decent fable with no errors? And it's actually FUNNY?! I've gotta re-read this…Guess I've almost shaken off the cold…except for my voice, which is ruined.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any _Nintendo_ characters or rights, but who's stopping me from copyrighting _Aesop's_ fables? After all, that's what the person who wrote my book did… *shot*

Original Fable: The Frog and the Ox

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics _are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Tortoise and the Hare_

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

* * *

Some little boos had just had a terrifying experience on their return from a field trip. As they were passing through Darkland, they had seen a terrible 'moster'. They immediately came streaking home to report to their 'babysitter' Big Boo.

Big Boo was reading some…M rated comic books when he heard violent pounding on the door. He freaked out-after all, King Boo could be there, and if he saw what his minion was doing, the oversized boo would be out of a job and a reputation. Big Boo shoved the 'book' under a pillow that randomly appeared; then rushed to open the door. To his surprise, relief, and annoyance, King Boo was not there. Instead, there was the group of smaller Boos that were gasping for breath. Big Boo waited for them to get enough oxygen in their 'lungs' so they could tell him what they wanted.

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Finally, one of the little Boos caught its breath. It stared up at the agitated Big Boo; then started crying. The other Boos followed suit in between gasping for breath, a very hard thing to do indeed.

ONE HOUR LATER

By now Big Boo was starting to get annoyed. Before he could annihilate every single one of them, however, the smallest one spoke up.

"Oh! Oh, Big Boo! We saw a-a-it was a scary monster!"

The others added in a chorus.

"Yeah! We saw it, too!"

Big Boo perked up.

"What kind of monster was it? How big was it?"

"It was big-"

"-and fat-"

"-and strong-"

"-and ugly-"

"-and big-"

"-and yellow-"

"-and spiky-"

"-and fat-"

"-and big-"

"-and smelly-"

"-and somewhat Koopish-"

"-AND BIG!"

Big Boo looked puzzled for a few moments; then started laughing.

"You mean Bowser? He's not that big. If I concentrated, then I could be as big as he is."

The little Boos livened up a little more, inflating Big Boo's already oversized ego.

So guess what he decided to do?

If you guessed 'he tried to blow himself up to extremely large proportions (like an idiot)', then you are correct!

But anyway, he blew himself up another foot in diameter.

"This big?"

"No, he was bigger!"

"This big?"

"Bigger!"

"This big?"

"Bigger!"

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

"THIS big?!"

"BIGGER!"

Big Boo tried to keep inflating, but much to his dismay, he couldn't go any farther. The big boo burst, defeating himself, blowing away the smaller Boos, and blowing the M-rated comic book into King Boo's secret room.

BAM!

The M-rated comic book flew through the wall and smacked the ruler on the side of the…head (?), greatly enraging him.

However, he froze when he saw what it was-and put it in a chest for further 'investigation'. Meanwhile, he had to tell Big Boo and the minions about Bowser's new mega-sized robot that was heading toward them from Darkland. He had no doubt that Big Boo could take him down, however. His intelligence was greater than that of the other Boos, right?

* * *

_Original Application: Self-conceit leads to self-destruction._

_Nintendo's Application: Don't believe everything you hear. Especially from newbies._

End Notes: Rushed? Too short? Wrong characters? Wrong fable? Give me some feedback here by pressing…

The REVIEW button!

Big Boo: It's not in caps.

Review please, and chow!


	10. The Box of Frosted Flakes

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Huh? What is this miracle? Me feeling guilty about not updating? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD—no, I'm just kidding. But here's a slightly longer chapter for you all that actually has everything in it done correctly.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters, nor a box of 'Father's Forbidden Flakes'. The characters obviously belong to Nintendo, and, as the name suggests, the box of Frosted Flakes belongs to my dad.

**Fables Pending:**

_Italics _are fables requested

(In no particular order)

_The Ant and the Dove (wow, I already had this one on the list!)_

_The Caged Bird and The Bat_

_The Tortoise and the Hare_

Mercury and the Woodsman (you can guess where this one will go…)

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Bundle of Sticks

* * *

Somewhere in Darkland, in Bowser's Castle, in the third level, IN THE KITCHEN, an argument was brewing.

"GIMME THEM!"

Turns out that King Boo wasn't the only one who had familial troubles. Bowser's kitchen, chaotic as it usually was, had seen few days like this. Unless they were being invaded or something. Fireballs were flying, along with various other attacks, servants that were either dumb enough or loyal enough to stay behind, squashed food, and packaging. Well, that wasn't all, but you probably wouldn't want to know.

Bowser ducked under the table, grasping a precious item that all eight of his children were fighting over—a box of Frosted Flakes. He might have money, but with the corn shortage thing, there were more obstacles to overcome than just inflation. The Frosted Flakes that his family devoured in large portions were getting harder and harder to come by. Of course, he had a secret supply that he liked to call 'Father's Forbidden Flakes', so Bowser figured that he didn't have anything to worry about.

Sadly, that supply wasn't as secret as he thought.

A fight had broken out at the breakfast table when Bowser Junior ran out of Frosted Flakes and tried to get some from the other members of his family. Most of the silverware and food had been destroyed in the following battle, completely defeating the purpose of getting Frosted Flakes. The only box remaining was the one he had snuck out of his secret supply, which he was clutching on to in fear. Bowser quickly whipped out his communicator.

"Kamek! Come in Kamek! Get to the kitchen pronto, no questions!"

Unfortunately for Bowser, as soon as the word 'questions' left his mouth, the humongous table collapsed on top of him from all the stuff hitting it. And standing on it.

The great Koopa King fainted, although whether it was from shock or stone, nobody knows.

The Koopa kids froze in surprise…just long enough for Kamek to arrive before the fight resumed…

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Bowser had been dragged out from under the rubble, and Kamek was just finishing questioning.

"…and I swear I didn't do it."

Bowser Jr. walked backed to his place against the wall next to the Koopalings. Kamek took a glance at Bowser, who had started to snore, then glared at the eight children.

"Why can't the eight of you just GET ALONG?"

Everybody started talking at once.

TWENTY-TWO MINUTES LATER

Kamek really wished he had stayed in his room.

"SILENCE!"

The Koopa kids once again froze in time, pointing fingers and all.

Kamek sighed before raising his wand, and a bundle of logs appeared in front of the Koopalings.

"Each one of you take a turn and try to break the whole bundle."

Before they could resume bickering, the magikoopa signaled Ludwig to try first. One by one, each koopa tried to break the whole bundle, and one by one, they all failed. Once they had all finished, Kamek sliced one log away from the bundle for each of them.

"Now try to break them individually."

They each succeeded, except for Bowser Jr., who got a little help from Wendy to break it.

"Now, consider this lesson. As long as you all remain united, you can withstand many trials. However, when you become divided, then you are destroyed."

The octet stood quietly for a few minutes before Iggy spoke up.

"Then…then how come Dad always divides us up when we attack?"

The other koopa kids stared at him, wondering the same thing—until Bowser woke up unexpectedly.

"Hey, Kamek, go get me some more of these flakes…soons…"

With this, Bowser collapsed again and dropped the box of Frosted Flakes, which Kamek promptly seized. He turned the box onto its side and started reading the ingredients.

"No wonder everyone around here acts the way that they do…"

When he looked up from the box, however, he saw the Koopalings and Bowser Jr. staring at the box intently. Kamek sighed.

"You want some, eh?"

All of them nodded.

"Well your father has some in the closet around the corner. I'll be there to divide them up between you all in a moment."

With that, the kids stormed out and Kamek tossed the box of Frosted Flakes onto Bowser's head.

Bowser just snored in response.

* * *

_Original Application: In union there is strength._

_Nintendo's Application: Beware of rising food prices!_

End Notes: I shall fix the rest of the other chapters…eventually. Please keep on reviewing, faving, and following. I appreciate you doing all of those.

Chow chow for now now!


	11. The Two Karts

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: *quietly creeps back on* Uh, hi guys, I-*is mauled by mob of angry readers* Eep! Here's your story already! Sorry for the late update! And sorry for the short length, but as per usual, I can't do too much to some of them.

**Disclaimer**: I haven't gotten around to copyrighting Aesop's Fables yet…better do it before someone else does…later…

Fables Pending:

The Ant and the Dove

The Caged Bird and the Bat

The Tortoise and the Hare

Mercury and the Woodsman

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Two Karts

* * *

Once, the Mariokart transport company ship had let two karts slide over the side unnoticed. Unnoticed, that is, except by two panicking guards who didn't know how to swim. They both dashed toward the karts, but their combined body weight was not enough to pull even the lighter kart back onto the ship. The two guards each fell over the edge of the ship, not screaming for mercy because they were already screaming in terror of drowning.

Fortunately for them, they each landed on a kart-one landed on Toad's Mushmallow kart; the other on DK's Rhinocerous. Unfortunately, the two karts floated down a side river-_a__way_ from the big ship. The toads promptly turned to look each other in the eyes before banging their heads on 'their' karts.

Soon the karts and 'captains' came to an especially deep part of the river. The rider of the heavier cart desperately begged his friend to paddle closer toward him so that 'he could protect him'. With a polite but shaky smile, the other rider declined.

"Thank you for your kindness," he said, "but if we stay together, then this oversized marshmallow will get crushed under your rhinoceros kart no matter if I hit you or if you hit me. As long as we drift with a _considerable distance apart_, everything will be fine, my old friend."

"I knew I should've worn my life jackeeeeeeet!"

A few hours later, everything was fine indeed. Why? Because the winding river the two scared toads had drifted down was actually the way the ship was supposed to go.

* * *

_Original Application: Avoid too powerful neighbors._

_Nintendo's Application: Pay attention to the touch screen maps._

End Notes: Is there an Aesop's Fable about procrastination? If so, I'm too lazy to look it up.

Review please! …Please? I didn't get any last chapter…


	12. King Bowser and King Boo

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: *chokes on air…again* What? What is this miracle? I not only uploaded a fable without any reviews or deadlines, but -chokes- it's..done right? Don't pump yourself up, Cos, get back to work…

By the way, how many of these have I done that make fun of/center on King Boo/Bowser? Hmmmmmm…might have to make fun of Mario in the next chapter…

**Disclaimer**: The number of Nintendo rights I have is the number of nuclear warheads I have in my garage—that number being zero, because I don't even have a credit card/cash to purchase them with!

Fables Pending:

The Ant and the Dove

The Caged Bird and the Bat

The Laborer and the Snake (how did I lose this one somewhere along the line? Did I already do it and then forget?)

The Tortoise and the Hare

Mercury and the Woodsman

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Lion and the Dolphin

* * *

The king of the koopas once decided that he should have an ally. Not an ally like all the ones that betrayed him, fled, or were just incompetent. He meant an ally that had similar strengths and accomplishments almost equal to his—because, of course, nobody could be better than he could.

So one night, by chance, he happened to meet an almost-worn down King Boo along the sides of an abandoned road. After some sweet-talking, begging, and 'performing', Bowser convinced the ghost to become his ally.

Once the koopa king went 'swaggering on his way', the royal boo sighed—before realizing that he could just take the chance to flee/betray him when it was most useful and then not have to worry about dealing with Bowser. Maybe he could actually use a real Bowser to destroy Luigi this time...and possibly the moon, too.

A short time after their alliance, Mario 'invaded' Bowser's castle. The koopa king called upon the boo, who was about to eagerly beat the plumber into oblivion.

However, the two frenemies forgot two very important things in video game logic: nothing is ever simple, and a game cannot have two different final bosses at the same time.

Therefore, when the spotlights that Bowser had installed for cool looks came on, King Boo was utterly helpless, left frozen in the light.

"No! Light...scary...MOMMY!"

The red-capped plumber only raised an eyebrow at this-

"Let's-a go!"

-before he proceeded to pummel Bowser and move on to save the princess, who was obviously overjoyed as always.

When Bowser pulled himself out of the rubble, he stormed over to King Boo, who was still frozen in the light.

"Why didn't you help me?! We could've won if you hadn't sat around idling! You're nothing but a big scaredy boo—oh wait, you are a boo. Well that explains it…"

Just then, the lights conveniently happened to power down due to the fusebox being overloaded. Using this opportunity, King Boo removed himself from the ghost equivalent of the fetal position and floated in circles around the now-nervous koopa. The spirit-with-physical-fighting-powers cackled maniacally, showing his teeth.

"A coward, am I? Well, I'll let that comment slide this time. But next time you think about having me over to help you, think about both of our weaknesses instead of just your own."

With this, King Boo smacked Bowser onto his back before he vanished into the wall and back out into the forest, leaving Bowser all alone in the dark castle. Would the koopa king remember his words?

"Stupid, lazy boo…"

Probably not. Oh well, he'll learn eventually…

Right?

* * *

_Original Application: In choosing allies, look to their power as well as their will to help you._

_Nintendo's Application: The only time you (if you're a 'baddy') form a partnership with someone is when you want to take advantage of them._

End Notes: Two things:

One: Where were my reviews? Not everybody can be on Verizon/At&T, can they? I don't think so. Pweeeeeeeeeese leave me one? It helps me work faster… *insertinnocentsmileyfaceicon *

Two: I've considered possibly lowering the chap cap on this to 40 instead of 50. What do the readers think? How much of this dumb, crazy, hopefully humorous insanity can y'all take?

Three: Ha! You thought I was dumb and forgot that I only said that I had two things, right? Well too bad; there is no three!

Reviews please, and chow!


	13. Petey Piranha and King Boo

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Before I started working on the next chapter to The Legendary MOE!, the Konk/Ruby section of The Worst of Moe, a future pokѐmon fic of epical length so long I need to start six chapters in advance, a few other story projects that won't be published for a loooong while, the bonus chapter for The Worst of Moe, and problems 1-10 on Friday's math work that I didn't feel like doing and still don't feel like doing, I decided that I would give y'all an extra chappy! The reviews I got last chapter really inspired me to write this one, which is possibly the first request I've gotten around to doing in this story! Woohoo, as Moe would say in my parody! Thank you guys SO much for all the reviews, favs, and follows that you've given to this story! *smacks self again* But anyway, you came here for the story, right? Right! And it's possibly the longest one to date!

Oh, and I understand that this one focuses on King Boo again. And I understand that last chapter I said I would make fun of Mario. And I understand that- *mauled* -that I'm going on for too long. But the next chapter really WILL make fun of Mario!

**Disclaimer**: I still own as many Nintendo rights as I own nuclear warheads in my garage. Although I could buy some for ten bucks if such a deal existed, there's one other problem (besides the government)—our family's house doesn't have a garage…

Fables Pending:

The Caged Bird and the Bat

The Laborer and the Snake (how did I lose this one somewhere along the line? Did I already do it and then forget?)

The Tortoise and the Hare

Mercury and the Woodsman

Reviewer Responses (only responded to the ones on chapter 12 'cause it didn't seem like the right time to respond to the earlier ones):

-Crazy Mecha—It could not truly be my work if it wasn't strange, weird, etc. in some way. Just sayin'. *mauled for grinning evilly throughout typing that*

-Elemental Queen—I was gonna say that this one was short, but then when I wrote it the story itself turned out to be 575 words. Strange how reviews influence writing, sometimes subconsciously. :D Thanks!

-FairHairedAdventureSeeker- FLYING RAINBOW KITTIES!

-TehAntiFangirl—Me luvs compliments. :D Thankies… ;)

-RandomPerson-Awww...don't worry, now I will keep 50 fables! I'll ask if I need ideas, so thanks!

Now enjoy!

Original Fable: The Ant and the Dove (Requested by Subuku no Jess, if I do recall?)

* * *

Once (out of a whole bunch of times), Petey Piranha was traveling through Boo Forest. Excluding a little encounter with Professor Gadd and his latest invention, the only problem he had was his destination—the only resident of his mother's house, Mama Venus Piranha Plant. As terrible thoughts of Mama Venus ran through his head, tripped and started rolling down a side path.

When the oversized boss piranha stopped rolling, he shook his head, trying to clear the chickens, Torchics, Bellybirds, Zubats, and Boos out of his vision. All but the Boos left within fifteen seconds. Petey pondered this for a while before realizing that the Boos were quite real and not in his imagination. He also noticed that they were being sucked into Luigi's Poltergust 5000.2.8, the latest of E. Gadd's smaller Poltergust models. Despite rumors, the bipedal plant creature felt some sympathy for the Boos. He quietly picked himself up and charged at Luigi, who jumped out of the way but lost his hold on the last boo, who was wearing a crown. The crowned boo promptly flew out of sight—but not before shrieking a quick 'thanks' to the plant.

Petey stared after the spirit until he felt something hot crash into his back. In his haste to help the boo, he had forgotten that Luigi had defeated him before. And that he hadn't needed the Poltergust when he did that. The piranha plant heard the green clad plumber click a few switches on the vacuum; then point the nozzle at him. Petey managed to throw himself out of the way just as a huge fireball crashed into the ground where he had been. Not caring which direction he ran, the overgrown plant creature took off with Luigi hot on his…erm…legs, maybe? I'm not quite sure about that, but what I am sure of is that Petey was running for his life.

About a half hour later, Luigi got tired of chasing after the piranha plant and went back to E Gadd's lab for dinner—pickled lemons with a horseradish gravy, sad to say. Eventually, Petey wandered into some Toad Town suburbs. But not just ANY Toad Town suburbs. He wandered into the Toad Town suburbs on the east side of town, aka 'The Side of Town that the Mario Bros Lived On'. And it just so happened that Mario had ordered some Chinese food for dinner that night—Petey's favorite kind of food.

Like the impulsive Piranha Plant that he was, Petey ran up toward Mario's house and tried to snatch the Chinese food from the delivery guy. However, he suddenly realized his grave mistake when Mario came out with his hammer. A battle ensued between both takeout lovers. As for the toad? He fled, not caring about his tip.

The battle seemed fair game until Mario tripped his opponent with his hammer, giving him the advantage. Just when all hope seemed lost for Petey, King Boo, who had somehow gotten lost in his own forest and somehow ended up in the same place, saw the battle and appeared over his new friend. Contradictory to his superhero reputation, Mario froze in place before passing out in fright. The two boss enemies quickly grabbed the Chinese food and fled.

And as if that wasn't enough good luck for Petey and King Boo that day, they ran into Mama Venus Piranha's house while they were running/floating through the forest! How lucky is that?!

* * *

_Original Application: One good turn deserves another._

_Nintendo's Application: E Gadd is not the world's best chef._

End Notes: Does anybody remember E Gadd calling Luigi after the Boolossus battle and telling him that he would be serving 'dandelion salad in a diesel marinade'? Okay, it might not necessarily have been salad in the game, but that is probably the quality of today's pre-packaged salads, so I just took a guess. But if you were really obsessed with finding out, you could look up the Boolossus battle on Youtube.

Review please, and thanks for the reviews last chapter! Reviews make both me and the characters happy.

King Boo: *pokes Mario while giggling evilly*

Chow for now!


	14. Mario and the Mega Mushroom

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: *dodges well-aimed barrage of rubber band balls, marbles, and various other items that only authors keep around* Hey, hey, take it easy. I know it's been almost two weeks, and I know I didn't do anything on FFN for Valentine's Day/my birthday, but I got obsessed with planning my new chaptered story project! *readers groan* Don't worry guys, I won't forget about you all. To prove it, I'm posting this new chapter, and this one really DOES make fun of Mario some, just like I promised! It was really hard finding an appropriate fable to do that, but…

Thanks for the reviews/favs/follows!

**Disclaimer**: I've read a little bit about nuclear technology from a kiddy science textbook, but I still don't own any nuclear warheads and I can't manufacture any either. And I still don't own any Nintendo rights… *sighs* That sucks…

Fables Pending:

The Caged Bird and the Bat

The Laborer and the Snake (how did I lose this one somewhere along the line? Did I already do it and then forget?)

The Tortoise and the Hare

Mercury and the Woodsman

Original Fable: The Ass Carrying Salt

Enjoy!

* * *

Rumor had it in the Mushroom Kingdom that behind their weak appearance, Goombas were actually quite strong, and their lord and supreme ruler was hidden deep in a dead, desolate forest with poison rivers running through it so that only the strong could reach him. When Mario heard this, he started laughing in disbelief.

"How the heck could a goomba be strong? Even if it was their king, he'd still suck."

So he looked up some stuff on Wikipedia, managed to make a more-accurate-than-not guess as to where the forest might be, and set off (making sure to avoid Boo Woods, of course). Surprisingly enough, Mario found his way to the forest and made it through the course without getting lost, despite having left his map back at Peach's Castle. He jumped through the stump tunnel...

"OW!"

Hurt his back in the fall, and moaned in pain...before realizing that a royally dressed Goomba was laughing at him, obviously Goomboss. The red-capped plumber confidently marched up to Goomboss and shouted a challenge. The battle began.

Unfortunately for Mario, Goomboss was considerably—no, MUCH larger and stronger than he was. And he didn't have back problems.

Things went downhill for Mario—fast.

When he was down to his next-to-last piece of HP, he suddenly remembered that he had brought a mushroom along with him in case he ran into some other villain along the way. He stuffed it in his mouth without noticing what color it was—until he found that he was suddenly on eye level with Goomboss.

"Oh yeah! It's-a super Mario time!"

What happened next was quite obvious.

As Mario shrunk down to normal size, Goomboss fell to the ground, swearing revenge if he would come back tomorrow. Mario took the challenge, not remembering how close to defeat he had come.

The next day, the two met again, and Mario used the same mega-mushroom trick to defeat his opponent. Once again, Goomboss swore revenge if the hero would come back tomorrow.

By this time, Mario was very confident in his ability to defeat his opponent with his little trick.

"Have-a any time after Cupcake Wars tonight?"

Goomboss accepted the challenge with a foreboding smile.

"Only after Cupcake Wars."

Mario went back to the store, bought another mega mushroom, and headed back to the forest-after Cupcake Wars, of course. Goomba and human started battling again, but this time was different. When Mario ate the mega mushroom and jumped on Goomboss's head, he tripped over the boss and fell flat on his face.

Looking back up with a groan, he realized that his new nemesis was now wearing a large, regal, and very tough hat along with a vest of the same quality. And he had redone his mustache. That always has an effect on your power.

Taking advantage of the situation, Goomboss proceeded to trounce Mario. Upon his victory, he sealed the now-unconscious (again) plumber in a room and kept the key. He knew that someone would come and defeat him for it eventually, but hey, he had beaten Mario into a pulp. That was all that mattered. As long as the King of Goombas had defeated that pesky plumber, he could torture the human all wanted for it.

Especially, he thought as he tilted his head, for dirtying his nice new hat. At least he had Mario's hat to repay the favor.

* * *

_Original Application: An old trick may be played once too often._

_Nintendo's Application: Not all bosses maintain the same IQ level throughout the battle(s)._

End Notes: And that could perhaps explain a few things on Super Mario 64 DS, which I happen to own and obsessively play now and then. The mega mushroom idea came from the fact that once, while I was battling Goomboss as Mario, I jump-kicked the back of Goomboss's head and a mega mushroom randomly appeared, which I used to own him. I really should go back and do that again sometime…

*King Boo and Goomboss both poke at Mario while grinning evilly*

Man, using Mario as the butt of a joke is so much more fun than I thought it would be! And I thought it would be pretty fun!

But anyway, review, and chow for now!


	15. The Toad Eating Doritos

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: I'm baaack- *is battered by mob of angry readers again* Okay, so I'm being incredibly lazy. I apologize. Especially since this one is really short compared to the others.

…but the fact that I had to take out my game of Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga that I haven't played in forever just to write it justifies that, right? *pied, cheesecaked, and donut…'ed'* Ugh, I guess not.

**Disclaimer**: Once upon a time, I owned Nintendo rights. Then I snapped out of my 'fantasy bubble' and back into the real world and realized that I didn't have the rights to anything. So much for my happy ending…

Fables Pending:

The Caged Bird and the Bat

The Laborer and the Snake (how did I lose this one somewhere along the line? Did I already do it and then forget?)

The Tortoise and the Hare

Mercury and the Woodsman

The Fox and the Crane

Original Fable: The Ass Eating Thistles

Enjoy, people!

* * *

Way far away in the HooHoo Desert, up in a mountain of mushrooms, there was a toad who had many allergies. He got sick no matter what food he ate. Even the special food he bought that was supposed to be safe for beings like him. So to make himself happy, he got a job at the new arcade. That way he could play anytime he wanted and still be happy.

So when the new Invincishrooms came to town, he couldn't eat them. And he didn't want to, after he read the label on what they contained. 'Inert sugar'? Was that even legal in their country?

He loaded the boxes into the arcade while it was early morning, seeing that the monsters and other toads weren't usually awake at that hour. One night while he was unpacking the boxes, he remembered he had a bag of Doritos, possibly the only food he could eat without breaking out/getting sick stuffed in his backpack. In great pleasure, he snacked on them in between sweeping the wrappings for the Invincishrooms away.

'I wonder,' he thought, 'how many of my friends and family would love to be in my position. But for me, the nightly bag of Doritos is enough.'

Unfortunately, the toad got sick the next morning and had to skip his job. The reason?

His bag of Doritos had come in a new Invincishroom flavor and he had never noticed. Ironic, eh?

* * *

_Original Application: One man's meat may be another man's poison._

_Nintendo's Application: Look at the color of the mushroom before you eat it. The darker it is, the worse._

End Notes: What make it funnier is that I haven't played that game in ages, yet the scene randomly popped into my mind. :D

And 'inert sugar' is supposed to be something that is ten times more powerful than high fructose corn syrup, which is supposed to be ten times more powerful than regular sugar. Shocking, eh? Imagine the dumb, more moronic toads on that stuff—better yet, the Kamek in Little Fungitown. Maybe that's why he was trying to hypnotize himself. :DDDD

**Edit**: About the 'inert sugar': The person whom I got the information from changed some of their information that I used/implied when writing this story, so I don't know how reliable it is. To be honest, I think it might be 'invert sugar', but I'm _not positively certain_. Look it up yourself, because I've heard enough health stuff to last a lifetime.

By the way, I found a betareader, so I guess all the work you have to do now is review. :)

Chow!

_PS: About the whole 'chow' thing: At the time when I first started saying that as my final words (aka about a year ago), it was really, super popular to put 'ciao' at the end of your story because of the whole outbreak of Dimentio/Mr. L fans—and wow, it still is, apparently. I didn't want to look like I was ripping everyone off/was obsessed with either of those characters (even though they are still pretty interesting chara's). Not to mention that fact that I had never, EVER heard the word 'ciao' before, so since lazy me never looked it up in the dictionary, I had the completely wrong idea of how it was actually pronounced. It's either that or the fact that I love snacks, but I'm pretty sure it's the former._


	16. Darkland Desiring a King

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: *parties* Reviews inspired me, so I got this one out for y'all as a present! *stands on top of 'chow!' in capital letters* I am going to keep using that now. :D The fable is not nearly as funny as I would like, but I guess it might tie up one or two things in the Mario-verse that I didn't accidentally answer already…completely accidental again, heheh. *pied*

Oh, and to my unnamed new reviewer: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDD *gasps for breath* Not only was I listening to that song the day before you reviewed, but I thought when I wrote that reference that nobody would know who the heck I was talking about! Owl City forever!

**Disclaimer**: Be mine, guys? *holds up overdue Valentine, only to see that all the characters fled…* Ah well. Maybe in another life. Get it?!

Fables Pending:

The Caged Bird and the Bat

The Laborer and the Snake (how did I lose this one somewhere along the line? Did I already do it and then forget?)

The Tortoise and the Hare

Mercury and the Woodsman

The Ant and the Grasshopper

The Fox and the Crane

Enjoy!

Original Fable: The Frogs Desiring a King

* * *

Once, the koopas were not always ruled by King Bowser's family. At one point, Darkland had been a happy place, filled with everything from farmland to mining industries. There were not only koopas, but toads and goombas and other creatures from all over.

But soon, the inhabitants became dissatisfied with their current lifestyles. They felt that there should be something…_more_ to their simple lives.

So they left a stone tablet out in the center of their capital for Grambi, hoping that he would see it somehow and answer their call.

When their watcher happened to see the tablet, he got a good laugh out of it, but then decided that it might be entertaining to see what happened if he satisfied their requests. So he summoned a large red bob-omb with a good sense of humor to be their 'king'.

At first, the residents treated their ruler with the utmost respect. But when they found out that he wasn't the 'ruler' that they had expected, they started treating him more harshly. Finally, the red bob-omb painted himself black and yellow and exploded in the center of town. The residents kicked him out and sent him to one of the manufacturing fields.

Another stone tablet was left, this time demanding a king who would 'really rule over them'. However, when Grambi saw the stone on this round, he had just been chewed out by his wife, and was not in a very good mood. So this time, he summoned a tribe of nomad koopas with a strong, terrifying leader that stormed the village, taking almost everyone prisoner. A few days later, a handful of the survivors left a third stone tablet, asking to get rid of this 'foul villain'. But unfortunately for them, the message was destroyed, therefore leaving them to flee to other lands. The prisoners were forced to start building a fortress and helping transport materials and other 'animals' for their so-desired leader. The toads, like the terrified creatures they were, eventually escaped. But some of the others decided that they liked working for their new leader. He was entertaining at the very least…

"GIMME THE FROSTED FLAKES!"

And as for the red Bob-omb king, he eventually found his way to the Bob-omb battlefield, and was immediately taken in by the black bob-ombs, much to his dismay.

Oh well. Maybe someday he could find some coins and a store so he could repaint himself!

* * *

_Original Application: Let well enough alone!_

_Nintendo's Application: Societal issues make great plot devices._

End Notes: This was originally going to be where the portrait ghosts got fed up with King Boo/whatever they had before and then got sucked up by E Gadd as a result of their dissatisfaction, but I didn't want to sway the collection toward any particular game. I don't know how it got geared toward SM64 again, though…

Whatevs, review please, and chow!


	17. The Inobservant Servants

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Just because I am posting this does not mean I have recovered from the large lack of inspiration I am experiencing. It just means I feel guilty for ignoring you guys. (But wow, it has over 650 words!) This is basically just to tide everyone over until I can get to major work. Then you'll see me doing a lot of (crazy) things. But until then, enjoy this actually well-written, funny fable that references most of the castle confusion in Princess Peach's castle(s). This one takes place in the M&L: PIT castle, although whether it was because of an event later on in the story or the fact that my sibling accidentally threw my copy in the garbage last month, I have no idea.

By the way, I planned this idea about a week ago, but it just so happened that when I went back to work on it today, one of the pipes in our house froze. You'll see the irony once you finish.

**Disclaimer**: I want to own Nintendo rights. I also want a 3DS, a copy of every pokѐmon game in existence, more hints for Pokѐmon X and Y, and a Sylveon. And that's just starting my list. But as you can guess, I don't have anything on it, including the Nintendo rights.

I'm going to stop listing the fables pending so I don't unfairly raise the word count, but don't worry, I have everyone's requests written down in the document.

Original Fable: The One-Eyed Doe

Enjoy!

* * *

The toads at Peach's Castle had a lot to worry about.

They had to worry about the roof repairs from the frequent airship assaults.

They had to worry about getting supplies to support everyone that lived there.

They had to worry about training the guards, cooks, librarians, trivians, and other workers.

They had to worry about the terrible internet connection when rain set in. (You KNOW where this one came from…)

They had to worry about which villains might be hiding in their basement.

They had to worry about looking useful for the authorities from both their kingdom and other kingdoms so they weren't fired.

They had to worry about the general status of the kingdom and Toad Town when the people who normally worried about that were busy.

And they had to worry about moving from castle to castle every few months, only to get attacked shortly after settling in. That's just naming a few of their many worries.

But the thing they KNEW they didn't have to worry about was the condition of the electrical systems and the plumbing, because seriously, not only did they have Mario, wasn't that stuff durable? Well, sadly for them, the pipes were durable, but the pressure meters needed to be checked. The toads barely knew they even existed.

Until the pressure buildup finally took its toll, that is. And when it did…

-qp-

Toadsworth was setting in his bedroom reading a book when the walls started creaking. He looked around in anticipation. No enemy invasions. Suddenly, he was showered with water as the walls throughout the castle started exploding with the water pipes. The elderly toad sighed, slammed his cane on the floor, and went to find someone to yell at for the mess.

-qp-

In a matter of fifteen minutes, there was three inches of water on each floor except the basement, which somehow stayed dry. As the toads threw on their lifejackets and swam for the telephone to call Mario, they realized something very dire. Well, the realized a few things that were very dire, to be exact.

One, Mario was away saving Princess Peach again.

Two, the telephone lines in the castle were shot from all the water.

Three, the electrical systems had gone out as well, leaving them all 'in the dark'.

Four, the real Beanbean ambassadors were supposed to visit the castle that day in about one hour.

As a particularly large blast of water shot through the roof of the castle, the toads finally got their worrying acts together. Who were they gonna call?

One of the younger toads whipped out their cell phone and dialed Mario's house anyway.

"Hello? …Oh. Wait…Oh, really? Can…Hey, can you help us? We're drowning in Princess Peach's summer castle over here, and we need plumbing help within the next hour! …Really? Thank you so much, Luigi! You're the greatest! …See you here, then!"

Much to the relief of the unofficial Luigi fanbases, the green Mario bro himself was coming to fix the problem this time and actually get credit for it, much to some of the toads' disappointment. When the job had been completed (within half an hour), the same toad walked up to Luigi and asked if there was anything he could do to thank him.

"Welllll…there is one thing…"

-qp-

_Meanwhile, in Princess Peach's Summer Castle Basement…_

A dripping wet Fawful woke up with a groan. He had been trying to redo his hideout by redirecting the water flow and adjusting the pressure valves, but just when he thought that he finally achieved success, a rumbling noise sounded in the distance before a tidal wave had swept through the pipes. The bean kid had no idea what could've went wrong; his plan was foolproof—

"Thanks Luigi! You're so awesome!"

"You're welcome. I don't know who could've done that, though. Whoever did the plumbing must've been _pretty_ stupid…"

That voice…it sounded familiar…

Then it clicked somewhere in Fawful's brain.

"I HAVE _FURY_, YOU GREEN FINK-RAT!"

* * *

_Original Application: Trouble comes from the direction we least expect it._

_Nintendo's Application: Don't play in sewer pipes!_

End Notes: And I suppose that this marks Fawful's debut in this story! I would say it marked Luigi's debut, too, but he appeared in an earlier chapter, so I can't. Sadly. Despite my recent lack of inspiration, I had a lot of fun writing this. Of course, the original idea with the plumbing going berserk wasn't mine; it came from an Allstate commercial with the Mayhem dude (you could probably look it up on YT). Oh, and I'll leave the favor Luigi asked to you guys. I'm sure you could guess…

Maybe if you review, it'll help me recover faster! Chow!


	18. The 'Slow' Kart and the 'Fast' Kart

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: -hit with cantaloupes- Okay, sorry for not updating in so long, but first I lost my muse, then I couldn't think of anything good, and then I remembered that I wanted to edit the first seventeen chapters and decided to do that while I had a low traffic flow. Ironically enough, I didn't even plan on writing a chapter yet. What started out as a joke I couldn't pass up writing down turned into a story clip. And then it turned into a story. And then I figured that it might match up with one of the fables. Whataya know, it was even a request, too. Hope you guys enjoy this overdue update!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing except the ideas, and even now I might not since the government is collected all of our data. –clutches ideas- Oh no, where's my copyright thingydoodle?!

Original Fable: The Tortoise and the Hare

Enjoy, peeps, and ignore the somewhat-boring beginning!

* * *

**_3_**

The final competitions for the MarioKart DS season were about to go underway. The last race of the day was on Mushroom Bridge, during rush hour.

**_2_**

"Hey Luigi, you sure you don't want to switch karts? That one always seems a little slow."

"Nah, I'm fine. Worry about your kart."

**_1_**

"It goes faster than almost any other kart. I don't have to."

"We'll find out."

"Shut up!"

_"GOGOGOGOGOGOGOOOOOOOOOO!"_

"Man, that Lakitu yells loud!"

"That wasn't very nice, Toad!"

"Guys, stop it!"

Mario and the other racers sped out of the station as Peach and Toad argued back behind the starting line and Luigi tried to resolve the argument. The red-capped plumber shook his head. It was a sure fact that he could've won without them getting a late start anyway. Mario had placed well in the last few races, but now he intended to take back his glory and win first. Nothing could go wrong with his Shooting Star kart.

As the drivers raced through the highway, the red-capped plumber remained in first. Despite almost getting run over by a gasoline truck and running a blue car off the road, Mario's reckless driving did not improve, which was made even clearer when he pulled right in front of a frozen Cheep Cheep truck.

"Hey you [CENSORED]! I [CENSORED]—"

Mario ignored the driver honking and shouting profanities at him and moved on, further angering the truck driver.

"You'll pay for that some time, kid!"

This habit continued for two laps. On about the second lap, the red-capped plumber saw a bomb going off in the distance and what was possibly and most likely Luigi's kart caught in the explosion as various other karts passed him. Mario shrugged as he pushed the gas pedal harder. He was too far ahead to say anything, anyway.

_BEEEEEP!_

_ZEEEEE!_

"*$&#)#!"

_HONNNNNNNNNK!_

The Shooting Star kart was about halfway through the final lap when Mario heard a familiar sounding kart noise. He glanced behind him only to see two buses and a thin strip of road between them, but the sound didn't go away.

_No_. _That can't be it. He got blasted by a bomb, and at least four people passed him. He can't—_

The gap between the two buses started to close, and the red-capped plumber sighed in relief.

"Hey bro!"

Mario's head whipped around just in time to spot Luigi zipping through the opening by mere inches and start closing in on first place. He gritted his teeth and stomped on the gas pedal, hoping to speed into another section of traffic to lose Luigi in.

Alas, Mario's kart wasn't as speedy as he'd hoped it to be. His brother was just a few feet behind him, grinning almost evilly. In his mirror, Luigi reached into an item box and pulled out a green shell.

_Calm down, Mario. There's no way he'll be able to hit you with—_

**BANG!**

"OH yeah!"

Mario's kart flipped over a few times before settling upright…

_BEEEEEEEEEEP!_

**_BANG_**_!_

…in front of a fish truck. Ironically enough, the same fish truck that he had almost wrecked.

"Raw-ha!"

"Oh yeah!"

Mario sat on the side of the road, somehow still sitting in his kart. Pulling his head up, he saw that there was a half-frozen Cheep Cheep sitting on his right shoe. He moaned as he chucked it to the side and pulled back out of a small crater. If he was lucky he still might be able to get third…

"WOOhoo!"

Or fourth. He just needed some aspirin at this point.

"Mamma mia…"

* * *

End Notes: I can't believe that that was almost 600 words long. It looked a heck of a lot shorter at the beginning of the project.

Well, whatever you think about it, or this story as a whole, or anything else, let me know through a review (although a fav/follow would be nice as well)! Please?

…

I'm out of things to say. See ya!


	19. Mario and the Mer-Yoshi

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: While you all know that I should apologize for the wait, I'll instead use this chapter to apologize for making fun of Mario for two or three different chapters. For those who like Luigi, I'm sorry, but I don't want to favor a handful of characters above the rest of the crowd, and using Luigi as the hero in this example would look weird for reasons you'll soon find out—provided you haven't guessed already.

**Disclaimer**: Nintendo's characters and stuff belongs to Nintendo, and my ideas and stuff belong to me. Everyone got that straight? Good, 'cause I'd hate to go through all the trouble of getting a copyright to write fanfiction.

Original Fable: Mercury and the Woodman

Enjoy!

* * *

On a day when grocery prices had gone up (due to conflict in Darkland), a certain plumber was out searching for mushrooms in the lower west part of the kingdom. To most that would seem somewhat strange, but there were many rocks and rivers in the area, making it perfect for the shade-loving shrooms. However, only one out of every ten rocks held mushrooms around it. Therefore, anyone who wanted the bounty would have to put in much toil to break the ones that didn't. No concern was given to habitat destruction; the rocks would rebuild themselves every few hours.

Mario's hammer struck rock after rock with little reward. Everything he found he immediately consumed (despite his better judgment). Time passed on, and soon it was almost dark. When Mario turned around, he saw that every stone he had crushed had automatically been pieced back together. He uttered a few profanities about mushrooms as he angrily swung his hammer at the nearest boulder. But by some unlucky chance, it missed, kept going, slipped out of his hands and flew into the river.

Mario blinked as he realized what had happened. He lost the only tool with him; and it was the one that he had gotten from that Hammer Bro as a gift, too!

The red-capped plumber flopped down against a rock. There was absolutely no way he could go home without it, but there was no telling how deep the river was and how many hungry creatures were waiting at the bottom.

_Splash_

Mario looked up to see something that looked slightly like a dinosaur bobbing near the shore.

"Yoshi?"

The creature tipped its head. "Yoshi! Yoshi shi-shi-shi yo Yoshi!"

"Oh! You're a mer-Yoshi, then. I didn't think you guys were real!"

"Yoshi. Yoshi shi Yoshi."

The Yoshi dove underwater and brought up an Ultra hammer.

"Shi?"

Mario stared at the sparkling hammer.

"I wish it was mine, but it's not."

The Yoshi dove down a second time and brought up a Golden hammer.

"Shi yo?"

"Nope, not that one, either. I don't even think I'd be able to lift it."

The Yoshi rolled its eyes and went back under. This time, it brought back Mario's real hammer, which he gladly accepted. Mario reached into his pocket.

"I wish I had some mushrooms to give you, but I…don't know what happened to them."

"Yoshi! Shi shi Yoshi! Yo!"

Mario's new friend vanished into the river before he could say anything else.

"Well…thanks!"

When Mario got back the next day, the whole town gathered to hear his story—including Wario. Ever greedy, he headed down toward the same place with a hammer that he stole. When he got tired of walking, he threw the hammer into the river and started yelling about his 'terrible loss'.

_Splash_

Wario's eyes brightened as he saw his visitor.

"Yoshi? Yoshi?"

Wario scratched his head. "Huh?"

The Yoshi facepalmed and dove underwater. It came up with a golden hammer.

"Shi? Yo shi shi?"

Wario's eyes lit up. "Why thank you!"

But as he grabbed at the hammer, the Yoshi pulled away, leaving him to fall into the river. Wario crawled out, gasping for breath.

"That was a dirty trick, you—WAH!"

The Yoshi hit him with the hammer. "Yo. Shi shishi yo yo shi Yoshi!"

With that, the Yoshi disappeared into the water, leaving Wario on shore with no hammer and the knowledge that when he got back the police would be on him for stealing.

* * *

_Original Application: Honesty is the best policy._

_Nintendo's Application: The language abilities of the protagonist are universal._

End Notes: In case you didn't guess, the mer-Yoshi was female. I'm sure her lines were obvious enough.

-points to review button- I'm not pressuring you or anything, but… -begs for reviews-


	20. The Koopas and the Yoshis

It's-a Fables, Nintendo Style!

A/N: Apologies for the late update. Not only was I attempting some insane multi-update plan (that failed), I was feeling bad for referencing just a few specific games more than once. I mean, they were ones that included the main heroes and villains, but…I dunno. So I went off on a crazy loop trying to think of ideas from specific game series like Paper Mario or something!

…And I ended up doing one on Yoshi's Island. The irony is that I planned to do one with SPM, but changed to this one (with Yoshi)…a while _after_ I got a review that mentioned Yoshi. 'Tis irony, I say, irony. But still, I really like Yoshi. A lot. Almost as much as Luigi.

I'm not sure if I responded to anyone last chapter; apologies if I didn't.

YoshiEmblem: That's okay. I tend to do that as well if the story has more than, say, 10 chapters. :)

**Disclaimer**: I own a copy of Yoshi's Island DS, but not the Mario franchise or anything.

Original Fable: The Eagle and the Beetle

Enjoy!

* * *

Once, Yoshi's Island wasn't always just Yoshis. Koopas of all kinds used to live there, as well. Paratroopas, Magikoopas, and others coexisted alongside the Yoshis and their friends.

But one day, the Koopas were visited by a draconic koopa who called himself Bowser and his Magikoopa advisor, Kamek. They said they were from a great kingdom of koopas led by Bowser himself. The Yoshi's Island Koopas were awed by the duo. Slowly but surely, they separated themselves from the Yoshis to follow Bowser, though they still remained on the island.

When a green Yoshi found a pair of strange creatures, the last string binding the Yoshis and the Koopas snapped. The Koopas stormed the Yoshi village and attempted to take them away for their King. The Yoshis fought back valiantly, but they lost one of the creatures to the Magikoopa Kamek. The dinosaurs pleaded with them to return it to them, along with the white bird that had accompanied it. However, the Koopas ignored them.

So the green Yoshi that had found the creatures took the remaining one and set off to free the other. After many challenges, the Yoshi reached the baby Bowser and again requested for the creature to be returned. The request was once again ignored, and an awesome epic battle ensued!

…Well, not as awesome and epic as it would seem, but still pretty cool!

Yoshi defeated the koopa in battle, but was still refused the strange creature, despite the threats he received. Just as he was about to finish the evil koopa off, Kamek interceded.

"Please don't harm my lord! Take the child and leave!"

Kamek dropped the baby onto Yoshi's head and tried to flee with Bowser, but Yoshi was too quick. He grabbed the creatures, ate Kamek and Bowser, and turned them into an egg (which he promptly set on the edge of the castle barracks). With justice served and the creatures and bird reunited, Yoshi left to return home to his village…

…and tell the others about his wacky adventure.

* * *

_Original Application: The laws of hospitality are not to be broken with impunity._

_Nintendo's Application: There is no limit to how many biomes you can fit on one island._

End Notes: I…don't really know how I feel about this chapter. I'm glad that I got it finished and posted and that it included Yoshi's Island, but…I hope I didn't rush it. I might edit it later if I feel it really does need it.

PS: If I recall correctly, I don't believe that there were any Koopas on Yoshi's Island in 'Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time', which would be set around…maybe two or three years after Yoshi's Island DS, so I guess that some event with the Koopas and the Yoshi's could have still happened…

I like it when people review and fav and follow and all that…but if you didn't feel like this chapter was very good and it was kinda bumpy, don't worry. I do to. So then just follow it.

Oh, and I, too, like my cat avvie's face. It serves as my attention-getter for my fics.


End file.
